7 STEPS TO PRACTICE FORGIVENESS.
When you have been hurt by someone, it is not always easy to let it go. But holding on to a grudge will only make you feel worse not just emotionally but in all ways. Resentment can cause your blood pressure to spike and trigger the release of stress chemicals that can make you physically sick. And the truth is: It does not really do any good anyway. As the saying goes: “Not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
The paradox is, when you have been wronged, forgiveness is the only thing that provides relief from the pain. Sound like a bitter pill to swallow, right?
Important Steps to Consider:
1. Understand forgiveness
Forgiving doesn’t mean that you condone what happened or that the perpetrator is blameless. It is making the conscious choice to release yourself from the burden, pain, and stress of holding on to resentment.
2. Feel your pain
It is important to give yourself permission to acknowledge and honor the pain that’s very real for you. Notice where you feel it in your body and ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” Maybe you need to feel supported, take more time, or do something kind for yourself. Allowing space for the pain in this way can help you know whether you’re ready to release it from your heart and mind.
3. Name it
Whether you have hurt yourself or have been hurt by another, allow yourself to be honest and simply name the feelings that are there. They might include guilt, grief, shame, sorrow, confusion, or anger.
4. Let it out
Keeping hurt feelings bottled up only causes additional stress to your mind and body. Even if the memory is difficult to confront, see if you can share how you’re feeling. You can write about it in a journal or talk about it with a friend or a professional counselor. Sharing helps you expand your perspective, and perhaps even see what happened through a different lens.
5. Flip your focus
If possible, see if you can flip your focus from being the victim to putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. For example, consider the life the person lived that led them to this hurtful action. This is difficult to do, but remember, you’re not condoning any action. This exercise is just about trying to see that, as humans, we are deeply impacted by our own traumas and life experiences, which greatly inform how we show up and act in the world. If you are able to do this, compassion naturally tends to flow from this more understanding perspective.
6. Have patience; forgiveness is a practice
Forgiveness isn’t a quick-fix solution. It’s a process, so be patient with yourself. With smaller transgressions, forgiveness can happen pretty quickly, but with the greater ones, it can take years. As you begin with the smaller misdeeds and then move onto the harder ones, be kind to yourself, take deep breaths, and continue on.
7. Stop blaming
We all know it can feel good now and again to complain to a friend misery loves company, right? Well, not exactly. “Blaming is a way to discharge pain and discomfort.” It gives us a false sense of control but inevitably keeps the negativity kicking around in our minds, increasing our stress and eroding our relationships.
Note : Create a peaceful feeling for yourself this new week, let go of resentment and embrace forgiveness, even the holy Bible supports the act of forgiveness!
#youarenotalone #forgiveness #restoration r
#theesteemedlifewithbolanle
Written by : Ajiboye Olagbemi Bolanle
